Joy

If you are reading this blog, I assume that you know my dear sister, Emily. Today she visited my school with my Mom. Needless to say, she was hilarious. She was dancing with random people in the hallway, kissed many of my fellow teachers' hands and was an absolute hoot with my students. I stopped by their classes (during my planning period) and introduced her to them. She said some pretty hilarous things to them.

"HI KIDS! Wow, there are a lot of boyfriends in here." (commenting on the number of male studnets in the class)
"Wow, I like your skirts." (commenting on their uniform)
"Hey kids. Guess what? I'm big!"
"This is my sister. We're twins, we have the same birthday."

I love that she was treating my tough 15 year olds like they were little children. It was adorbale. They kept telling me all day how funny she was. Also, they were FASCINATED by the fact that my Mom was there. Yes, I AM a real person. Yes, I do have a mother and a family. I remember seeing teachers at the store when I was a student and thinking that it was so weird, but it was still funny how taken aback they were.

I never thought I would say this, but I'm going to say it. Work is going well! It is still the most overwhelming and exhausting thing that I could possibly imagine. I am still working about 70 hours a week and am constantly exhausted. However, I finally feel like I am starting to reap some of the benefits and sweet moments of being a teacher. I finally feel like I know what I am doing (for a first year teacher). Yes, I still come home frustrated, angry and annoyed. Teaching is such an emotional rollercoaster. Each day is full of extreme confrontation and serious conversations with students, dissapointment, and exhaustion. However, lately, each day is also full of sprinkles of joy. I know that these sprinkles are more meaningful because of the tears and sweat it took to get here. It's amazing how hard it is to win some kids over. However, it's also incredible to see how hard they will work for you once they recognize that they can trust you. When I started this job, I was a 22 year-old white girl teaching 150 Hispanic students that automatically assumed that "I didn't know what they have gone through" and that there was no way that I could understand. In a way, they were right. I had no idea what they have been through. Even though middle schoolers (especially 8th graders) are notorious for being fickle, I am stunned by the shift in our relationships, for the most part. As of this past week, they have even seen me doing some ridiculous dances. "Misssss, don't do that. You are embarrassing us." I really do love them. I think about them constantly, and that is what makes the tears and sweat worth it.

I am genuinely excited about next year. I will officially be a Special Education Inclusion Teacher at my school! Although this has been the most challenging year of my life thus far, I have learned so much and I know that it will help me so much next year. In the meantime, I need to stay focused on my job as an English teacher. I have 1 TAKS test down (7th writing), and two to go (7th and 8th reading).

This post caught me on a high day. However, like I said, teaching is a rollercoaster. Who knows what tomorrow will hold! By God's grace, sometimes I wake up and find the energy to give them my all and to love them for 12 hours straight. However, that is rare. I fail constantly. I say things to 30 kids that I don't mean. I don't follow through on things that I say that I will do. I forget about them or makes excuses. I am so very thankful that I serve a Savior who gives us this day our daily bread and forgives my many trespasses.

In Him,

Katherine